Lifestyle
3 proud grandparents share what they've learned from their LGBTIQA+ grandchildren
This Pride Month, we're celebrating the wisdom that flows both ways between generations – about love, authenticity and what really matters in life 🏳️🌈.
By Carolyn Tate
Most of us like to think we know a thing or two about life by the time we become grandparents. But sometimes, our grandchildren end up being the ones teaching us some of life’s important lessons.
This Pride Month, we had a chat with three grandparents who will be the first to tell you that their LGBTIQ+ grandchildren have completely changed how they see the world.
Pride Month happens every June, and it's all about celebrating the LGBTIQA+ community and their fight for equality and visibility. It's a time for rainbow flags, parades and, most importantly, showing the world that love is a wonderful thing, no matter what form it comes in.
For Jennifer, Marianne and Tim, Pride Month has become something special – a chance to celebrate not just their grandchildren, but everything they've learnt from them along the way.
Jennifer, 69, Brisbane: "There's more than one path to happiness."
Jennifer's granddaughter Celeste* came out as transgender at age 15, a revelation that initially left this retired teacher feeling overwhelmed.
"I'll be honest, I didn’t really know what it meant at first… And then when I did, I was terrified," she admits. "Not because I didn't love Celeste, of course, but because I worried about how difficult life might be for her. Living her first 15 years as a boy, she was always a bit quiet and a bit disconnected. She was very hard to get to come out of her shell."
What Jennifer discovered surprised her. "Without even being aware of it, I'd always believed there was one 'right' way to live: you find a partner, settle down, have children. But watching Celeste (now aged 21) live through her journey has shown me there is more than one path to happiness."
Jennifer says she remembers the moment everything clicked for her. "Celeste brought her girlfriend to Sunday lunch about a year ago. I watched them setting the table together, laughing and chatting, and I realised I was witnessing the happiness of a regular couple. It looked different from what I'd expected, but it was just so lovely to see. They just love each other and Celeste looked at ease in a way we didn’t see in those early years".
The experience has transformed Jennifer's perspective on what constitutes a happy life.
"I used to worry about ticking boxes – career, marriage, children. Now I understand that happiness comes from being true to yourself. My granddaughter has taught me that nothing matters more than being happy within yourself."
Marianne, 72, Hervey Bay: "The world is more open-minded than we give it credit for."
When Marianne's grandson Finn* announced he was gay on his 18th birthday, her first instinct was protective concern. "I immediately started worrying about discrimination, about him being hurt or rejected," she explains. "I'd grown up in a different time, and I suppose I projected my fears onto his situation."
What followed challenged every assumption Marianne held about societal acceptance.
"His friends and footy team were completely unfazed – it was a non-issue for them. And his boss at the takeaway shop he works at put a Pride Flag up in the window. I kept waiting for the negativity, but it didn’t really come."
Marianne says Finn helped her see beyond her generational fears.
"He told me, 'Nan, you're judging the world by old standards,' and he was right. Yes, there are still challenges, but there's also so much love and acceptance that I didn’t realise was out there."
The revelation has made Marianne more optimistic about the future for Finn.
"Politically, the world feels like it’s been becoming harder and more divided. But watching how Finn's community has embraced him has restored my faith in humanity. Young people today are remarkably open-hearted."
Tim, 75, Melbourne: "Love is love – it's that simple."
Tim says his mind was blown wide open when his grandson Ben* brought home a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. "I was bloody confused at first," he laughs. "In my day, we didn't talk about this stuff. If you were that way inclined you kept it to yourself. I didn't have the language or understanding."
Feeling uncomfortable and challenged, Tim made the decision to choose curiosity over retreat. "I asked questions – lots of them. Ben was patient with me, explaining things I'd never considered. The more I learned, the more I realised how little any of it mattered."
Then Tim says he got to know Ben’s boyfriend Sebastian*, when the couple stayed overnight during a power cut.
"We'd lost electricity for hours, and this young bloke entertained my wife and me with stories about his nursing shifts at the hospital. He was funny, kind and really interested in our opinions about everything, from gardening to politics. Sitting there in the dark, I realised I'd been focusing on things that don’t matter. Here was someone who made my grandson laugh, who cared about elderly patients, who treated us with respect. What more could I possibly want for him?"
Tim's advice to other grandparents is refreshingly direct. "Don't overthink it. Love is love, whether it's between a man and woman, two men, two women, or anyone else. The packaging doesn't matter."
Lessons that matter
These three grandparents have discovered that wisdom doesn't only flow from older to younger generations – sometimes the opposite is true. And their stories serve as a reminder that Pride Month isn't just about celebrating our LGBTIQA+ community – it's also about acknowledging the families who love them, the neighbourhoods that support them, and the understanding that grows when we all open our hearts.
As Jennifer puts it: "My granddaughter didn't just come out to us – she brought us out of our limited thinking. She's made us better people, and for that, I'll always be grateful."
* Names have been changed to protect grandchildren from being embarrassed by their proud grandparents.
Feature image: iStock/Ladanifer
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