Lifestyle
The government banned social media for under 16s. Maybe we should rethink things too?
The new social media ban has shone a light on the impact of social media and screens on mental health. If the kids are being told to put their phones down, maybe it’s time we tried it too.
By Bron Maxabella
When the Australian government’s social media ban for under 16s recently came into effect, plenty of parents rejoiced. Kids and teens glued to their screens is hardly new news, but seeing the research should lead many of us, ahem, ‘grown ups’ to question our own habits too. Because let’s be honest, most of us over 50 are hardly models of mindful screen use ourselves. We might not be doing TikTok dances in the Coles frozen food aisle, but even the most sensible of us have fallen into many a doomscroll hole and emerged hours later with no memory of how we got there.
See, it is not just the kids who need healthier boundaries, it’s all of us. Reducing our screen time pays off at any age with better sleep, calmer minds, stronger relationships and generally just more time for the real world instead of the carefully filtered one.
Plus less neck and shoulder pain. Don’t underestimate the impact of less screen time and more movement on slowly unravelling your spine out of its perpetual question-mark shape. At this age, that’s a massive win.
So consider this your friendly guide to making peace with your screens. And yes, that means assessing your TV time too. The ‘original personal screen’ is still a total time waster, especially when they insist on making TV so darn good…
Why cutting back matters even more in midlife
In general, technology helps us do good work. We keep in touch, manage money, navigate the world, stay connected to our work and, of course, are endlessly entertained through our screens. Screens have also made it possible to avoid awkward small talk because we can stare politely at our phones when out in public – bliss! (Although, a side note on this: that awkward small talk is more important than you might think.)
But too much of anything is still too much. Research links heavy screen use to poor sleep, distraction, anxiety and stress. Basically, your brain never gets a moment to be idle, which is where creativity and problem-solving tend to flourish. This lack of idle time also affects our ability to satisfactorily switch off. We think we’re relaxing, but scrolling keeps our brains busy, not nourished.
Have I convinced you yet? I haven’t even mentioned the impact of too much screen time on our relationships. Social media has ironically been found to increase feelings of loneliness and lead to lower quality in-person time with friends and loved ones. Excess screen time can be particularly disastrous for our intimate relationships, especially if we engage in what’s known as ‘parallel scrolling’ in bed, where you ignore each other in favour of staring at your phone instead…
The fact is, despite the emphasis on under 16s, we all keenly feel the negative effects of excess screen time, especially in midlife. Our hormones are shifting, our sleep is already wobbly, we have big responsibilities at home and work, and many of us are cared-out and burnt-out enough without the added stress technology puts on us. Put simply, our nervous systems could use a breather and reducing screen time is one of the easiest ways to get one.
But how do we get out from under the cloud?
Begin with a simple audit
Start by simply paying attention to your screen habits for a day or two. When do you reach for your phone automatically? What apps effortlessly steal your time? How much television are you actually watching? What times of day feel the least controlled? What are you actually doing while you’re on screens?
Once you see the patterns, it becomes far easier to break them. Sometimes the solution can be as small as moving social apps like Facebook, Instagram and TikTok off your home screen. Or perhaps it’s simply a matter of switching off your notifications, either permanently or at least at set times each day.
Other times, you need something more structured to help you kick the habit.
Create no-phone time zones
This is one of the simplest, most effective ways to reduce your exposure without feeling like you’ve gone cold turkey. Pick a few parts of your day and reserve them for ‘real life’, not screens.
A few ideas that might work well for you:
- Mornings without screens until after breakfast
- A walk without your phone or at least with it zipped away
- Read a book on public transport instead of scrolling
- Dinner with no devices on or near the table
- Put everything on charge in another room at least an hour before bed
Small boundaries like these can have a surprisingly big impact, especially when you stack them. Once you’ve got a few in place, you might even start to feel like you’re running your life again instead of simply reacting to it.
Shrink the temptation
We underestimate how much design shapes our behaviour. Apps are engineered to keep you scrolling, so you need to make it harder for them to succeed.
Try little hacks like:
- Permanently turn off notifications for anything that isn’t critical – your WhatsApp group chat will survive if you only check in once a day.
- Log out of social media apps when you finish using them – the tiny barrier of needing to sign back in (especially if you have 2-factor authentication switched on) can often short-circuit mindless tapping.
- Use greyscale mode – it makes your phone look so boring that experts say it will make you want to pick it up less.
- Move addictive apps into a folder called something like “Do I really need this?” – the label alone should give you a small pause that helps disrupt habit loops.
- Stick to one show at a time – instead of back-to-back TV watching, watch one then take a break and do something else. Resist the urge to binge.
Think of it like hiding the Tim Tams in a hard-to-open container at the back of the top shelf in the pantry. You know they’re still there, but the effort required in getting them is often too great to bother.
Don’t remove, replace
Cutting back is easier when you give your brain something nicer to do. Screens are often our comfort, distraction or entertainment. So find other ways to fill the same gaps.
Try some of these swaps:
- Keep a book or magazine where your phone usually sits
- Lay out a puzzle or craft project on the dining table
- Put on music instead of your favourite show
- Swap evening scrolling for a quick walk or mobility routine
- Reach out to a friend instead of reaching for your feed
Basically, what do you like to do that doesn’t involve a screen? Do more of that.
Reclaim your attention with micro-breaks
Your brain needs downtime throughout the day to function at its best. Even a few minutes helps. This is especially true if you’re working on a computer or reading on a device – stand up, stretch, wander around. These small physical resets help your body feel better and your nervous system calm down. The Queensland government offers plenty of ideas for mini-breaks here and to give your poor eyes a break, the Fred Hollows foundation recommends things like:
- Follow the 20-20-20 rule (look at something 20 feet – about 6 metres – away for 20 seconds every 20 minutes of the day)
- Adjust the brightness and contrast of your screen
- Use proper lighting
- Reduce blue light exposure
- Position your screen correctly
- Adjust the font size and color
- Use lubricating eye drops
- Exercise your eyes
Click here for more information on actioning all of the above.
Let boredom make a comeback
Remember boredom? That glorious sensation of having nothing to do except sit in the gutter next to your Raleigh Chopper bike, watching the ants and complaining about having nothing to do? These days the minute we feel even mildly unfocused, we’re unlocking our phones.
What’s that doing to our brains? Well, according to researchers at the University of Queensland, we’re depriving ourselves of a simple and natural way to reset our sympathetic nervous system. Which can lead to something called allostatic overload, which is when our nervous system becomes so overwhelmed it stays in a heightened state of arousal, increasing our risk of anxiety.
Boredom has also been linked to increased creativity, a trait psychologists say adds meaning, shape, purpose and richness to our days. Harvard professor Arthur C Brooks even argues that allowing yourself to be bored is key to finding your life’s purpose.
No doubt about it, it’s time to give yourself permission to do absolutely nothing. Just sit, watch the clouds if you absolutely have to, but nothing more than that. Let your mind drift and your body relax. Resist the urge to fill the space with scrolling and just be present in the moment. And ask yourself: how uncomfortable does doing nothing make me feel? If the answer is very, Headspace has some tips for you.
Make it a family or household challenge
Trust me, being the only one who’s off screens when everyone else in the household is on is gruelling. If you want this to work, it’s best to get everyone on board. This is a win-win situation as many of us quietly wish our partner would put their phone down too. So set a challenge of a week with no phones after 8pm, or a screen-free Sunday and come up with a list of things you can do instead of screens. Then go ahead and do them.
There’s a list here if you get stuck.
Ease into it
The goal here isn’t to swear off screens entirely – we need our phones, we enjoy our TVs (and computers and tablets), life happens online. This is really just a matter of acknowledging the role screens play in our lives and considering all the things we might be missing out on when we’re endlessly scrolling.
Just like the kids, our mental health, creativity, socialising skills and important relationships will all benefit from less time on social media and screens. If under 16s are being nudged back into real life, perhaps we should all follow them there.
Feature image: iStock/Dobrila Vignjevic
Tell us in the comments below: What screen habit are you trying to break?
A few ideas for new ways to spend your time: