Lifestyle
3 women embracing their single status this Valentine’s Day
Love and fulfillment can take many forms and these three women are doing life right this Valentines Day.
By Carolyn Tate
As Valentine’s Day approaches, it can be hard to escape those familiar images – roses, set menus for two, and the assumption that the world is made up of couples.
But for many women, being single isn’t a gap to be filled or a phase to rush through. Instead, it can be an active choice – one of freedom, clarity, and a growing appreciation for their own company.
For some, it might be about stepping away from expectations they’ve outgrown. For others, it’s the relief of space, autonomy, and time to reconnect with themselves. And for many, it’s the realisation that love and fulfilment can take many forms – and they don’t necessarily require a partner.
We spoke to three women who have embraced single life in ways that feel expansive rather than limiting. They are redefining what happiness looks like, and discovering that being on their own doesn’t mean being alone at all.
Carmen finds romance isn’t just for couples
It’s been three years since Carmen (pictured above) separated from her ex-husband, and that time has given her the chance to get clear about what she wants for herself – not a life that looks “complete” from the outside, but one that feels fulfilling from the inside.
“For me, the theme is fulfilment,” she says. “I wasn’t finding my marriage fulfilling. Now I seek fulfilment in lots of different ways around me.”
What surprised Carmen most about single life was how little she missed being partnered. “I thought I’d be lonely, but I’m never lonely,” she says. “On your own isn’t the same as lonely.”
These days, Carmen is intentional about how she spends her time. She values meaningful work, currently working for a not-for-profit organisation that helps women to build financial security – but just as much, she values presence, learning, and connection. Carmen is studying counselling, not because she needs a new identity, but because she’s curious.
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“It just feels natural,” she says. “Like something I’ve been doing informally for years.”
As Valentine’s Day approaches, Carmen challenges the idea that romance only exists inside couplehood. “February 14 is supposed to be about romance,” she says, “but there are romantic aspects of life that aren’t about attraction to another human.”
This Valentine’s Day, Carmen is planning a solo road trip – something simple, thoughtful, and just for her. “I love driving,” she says. “I’ll get in my car, listen to my audiobook, maybe visit a friend – just weaving together all the things that fill my cup.”
Carmen’s advice to women who fear the quiet is to give it time: “Give yourself a chance to be the company that you need. Maybe you don’t need to fill all your time. Check out your own company – all of your friends like you for a reason!”
Karen feels less lonely single than she ever did while she was married
After more than two decades of marriage, Karen found herself living in a strange limbo: separated, but still under the same roof.
“It was incredibly overwhelming,” she says. “It felt heavy. Oppressive. Like my soul was being crushed a little.”
When she finally moved out, downsizing and taking full financial responsibility for herself and her children, the shift was immediate – and visible.
“Everyone can see the difference in me now,” she says. “I’m lighter. Happier. Joyful. I’ve always been positive, but this is different.”
Karen teaches full-time, runs her own business, parents her boys largely solo, and pays every bill herself – yet she describes this season of life as expansive rather than exhausting. What she values most isn’t just independence, but autonomy in the everyday.
“I love not having to answer to anyone,” she says. “If I want to go to a café and work, I just go. No explanation. No justifying. No stupid questions.”
Karen says she felt lonelier in her marriage than she ever has since becoming single. Having her own space has brought calm – not just for her, but for her children too. “My son says the atmosphere is so much nicer now. There’s no walking on eggshells.”
Last December, Karen marked this new chapter with a small but powerful gesture: a heart tattoo on her foot. “It’s a permanent reminder to look after myself,” she says. “Every time I see it, it makes me smile.”
As Valentine’s Day approaches, Karen’s focus isn’t on what’s missing, it’s on what’s ahead. Travel plans, new adventures, a business with purpose.
Her message to anyone struggling with their single status is to remember your worth: “You were an individual before you met someone. You matter. Happiness has to come from you, not externally. And you deserve it.”
Jo says no thanks to “second-class company”
For much of her adult life, Jo moved from one long-term relationship to the next, with a year or two in between. Being partnered felt normal, expected, even necessary. So when she found herself single a few years ago, the adjustment was confronting.
“I really struggled at first,” she says. “There was a lot of loneliness, and a lot of fear. That sense of: is this it forever?”
Like many women, Jo had absorbed the quiet belief that life is somehow incomplete without a partner. But over time, and it did take some time, something shifted for Jo. Looking around at the relationships she saw, even the happy ones, she realised there were no guarantees in life. The only certainty was that there was one person she would spend the rest of her life with.
Herself.
“That’s when I thought, if the worst-case scenario is that I spend my life with me, that’s actually okay. I really like me!”
Today, Jo describes her life as rich and full. She runs her own business, travels often, nurtures close friendships, and treasures time with her son and family. She relishes quiet moments alone – reading, creating, following her curiosities – without seeing them as something to be filled or fixed.
As Valentine’s Day rolls around, Jo feels no pang of missing out. If anything, she’s grateful to have stepped off the script.
“I’d rather have first-class freedom than second-class company,” she says.
Her advice to other women learning to love their own company is simple and steady: be patient. Lean into the relationships, routines and interests you already have. And allow yourself to become whole on your own.
“Loving your life doesn’t require a partner,” Jo says. “It starts with accepting that you’re already enough.”
Feature image: iStock/Milan Markovic
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