Lifestyle
Finding love after 50 is possible – just ask Maggie and Ray
This couple proves it’s never too late for the full glitter ball and flashing lights romance.
By Amanda De George
I felt such relief when I met Margaret. At 62, she’s bright, bubbly and clearly head-over-heels in love. All of my friends over 50 have sworn off relationships, telling me it isn’t worth the effort. The dating landscape they’ve painted is the stuff of nightmares; filled with ghosts (or at least people who’d suddenly disappear without a word) and creeps galore. But then here was Margaret, right in front of me, toasting her upcoming September wedding with a glass of bubbles – living, sparkling proof that passionate love could still be found after the age of 50.
Life turned upside down
Margaret – who prefers Maggie these days – was married to Rod for 26 years. It was your usual, run-of-the-mill marriage; happy, but not particularly romantic and with all the stress of owning a business together and raising kids. “I was fine with my marriage,” Maggie says. “I was cruising along and would have gone into old age together.” But the sudden loss of her husband changed the course of her life.
“I was 49 when Rod passed away suddenly. Within four days of him falling and hitting his head, I became a widow. This was not something you are ever trained for,” she says. “I was suddenly on my own and I felt so vulnerable and sad”.
Starting over, slowly
It took Maggie almost four years of wading through grief before she decided it was time to start over.
“I still had his clothes in the cupboard. It was so hard… I thought, ‘I’m sitting here alone, dying’. So I couldn't do that to myself anymore and I had to let myself live again.”
But despite throwing herself back into life, seeing bands, playing tennis and making new friends, meeting someone else was just not an option. “I was lost and the thought of getting back into dating was not even on my radar for many years. For five years I couldn’t even dance with anyone and look at them in the eyes. I just felt so guilty.”
“Then I met Ray. It just felt so comfortable and easy and to my surprise so exciting. He was wonderful and so understanding and we just clicked”.
Enter Ray, stage left (with bubbles)
Right on cue, Ray, 59, walks in. He kisses Maggie hello (on the lips no less), comments on how great her hair looks and grabs her another glass of bubbles. I liked him right away.
Ray’s story is different to Maggie’s but relatable to many of us. He was married at 23 and divorced at 32. There were relationships in the meantime but Ray was eventually faced with the very thing all my friends have sworn off: internet dating.
“I didn't do Tinder. I tried this one called Plenty of Fish. Plenty of mullet, I called it,” he says with a laugh. “Strange people texting while I was at work – it wasn’t for me.”
Maggie nods, “I went on Tinder and I hated it. I like to know personality. So if I meet someone and the personality gels, I'm interested. But if I can't see that personality on here,” she points at her phone, “it's not going to happen”.
When fate gets fed up waiting
And so their meeting was less digital and more traditional – introduced during a night out through friends of friends, and described by Maggie as a bit of a “slow burn”. Neither was really looking for a partner at that point.
Ray says, “I’d never given up on love, but I had to be realistic to my ageing self as well.
“I was grateful that I had good relationships with people across my age and across my time. But I had actually thought in my early 50s that it was quite likely I’d be on my own.”
And then he met Maggie. “We kept crossing paths though and it was like the heavens were going, ‘I can’t keep pushing you past her and wait for you to get it, mate’ so there was a little bit of fate there.”
Maggie agrees, “And then finally, we had a dance and that was it.”
From slow burn to disco lights
Six years later and they’re finalising wedding plans. “It'll be fun, Ray says. “We're bereft of all that 20-year-old angst, so all the pressure’s off … We're getting married because we want to.”
As I grab my things, getting ready to head off, Maggie and Ray are planning the rest of their night. As soon as they head home, the house lights go off, the music goes on, and so do the disco lights and lasers. And maybe that’s the secret to finding love again after 50: above all else, be yourself and have fun.
Ray sums it up best, “It’s a three-letter word… We were both having fun when we were out and met each other, and we’re still having fun now.”
Feature image: Courtesy of Maggie
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